Author: dperreault1 (Page 2 of 2)

Original Quote #1: Effective Altruism says, “The altruistic Übermensch is a hard-working money mover, a clean-cut advocate or a brilliant innovator of utility-improving devices or ideas. As usual, creative types are ignored if their ideas aren’t lucrative or if they don’t support a favored ideology.”

Revised Quote #1:  In Effective Altruism’s view, “The altruistic Übermensch is a hard-working money mover, a clean-cut advocate or a brilliant innovator of utility-improving devices or ideas. As usual, creative types are ignored if their ideas aren’t lucrative or if they don’t support a favored ideology.”

Original Quote #2: Like Southan said,  “As usual, creative types are ignored if their ideas aren’t lucrative or if they don’t support a favored ideology.”

Revised Quote #2: According to Southan, “As usual, creative types are ignored if their ideas aren’t lucrative or if they don’t support a favored ideology.”

Original Quote #3: He uses Peter Singer’s analogy saying, “Suppose you saw a child drowning in a pond: would you jump in and rescue her, even if you hadn’t pushed her in? Even if it meant ruining your clothes? It would be highly controversial to say ‘no’ – and yet most of us manage to ignore those dying of poverty and preventable disease all over the world, though we could easily help them.”

Revised Quote #3: Using Peter Singer’s analogy Southan writes,“Suppose you saw a child drowning in a pond: would you jump in and rescue her, even if you hadn’t pushed her in? Even if it meant ruining your clothes? It would be highly controversial to say ‘no’ – and yet most of us manage to ignore those dying of poverty and preventable disease all over the world, though we could easily help them.”

After reading W4 from The Little Seagull, I realized that my essay could use some work. I used two different techniques described in the book and they were taking away sentences that do not correlate with the topic sentence and adding more description. I realized that I have a tendency to add sentences that are not necessary when arguing my point. I often times just put them in because it’s a “shitty first draft.” When reading over my essay, I noticed that I had too many of those sentences, which I took out. I also used the descriptive advise because it could make my essay stronger using more keywords. I like when I read a book or sentence that uses a lot of description. because it keeps me attached and focused in on what the author is trying to make you feel. Incorporating both of those techniques helped to strengthen and improve my essay because they will keep the reader focused and intrigued. All of the random sentences and not a lot of description may make the reader not stay on track and focused. I want to make my view as strong and convincing as possible.

After reading Anne Lamott’s “Shitty First Drafts,” I realized that I really didn’t do what she said to do. Instead of throwing down the ideas that come to my mind first, I would try to make it as clean as possible the first time around. I’ve always tried to do that because I personally do not like having a very random and crazy first draft. With her essay, I was surprised by her tooth analogy. I never would have made that connection if I didn’t hear about it and I thought that it was very interesting. I was a little offended when she referenced suicide a few times because I think that that is a very touchy subject and shouldn’t be used as a joke. Joking about that stuff makes me upset because it can hurt people’s feelings and can trigger certain things for people.

My revision plan strategy is to set a goal for myself. My goal is to allow myself to really listen to what others are editing my essay on and incorporate their thoughts. They could have a different viewpoint than I do that can strengthen my essay. I plan on thoroughly reading their comments and deeply thinking about how to incorporate the comments with my essay. One of the biggest challenges that I see with this goal is trying to incorporate something that I don’t necessarily agree with. Even if I do not agree with it, I can find a way to incorporate their ideas with my idea to strengthen it and give my essay another aspect to think about. If this challenge is hard for me to overcome, I will use my Little Seagull book, my professor and even online sources to help me.

After reviewing my peer’s essay’s, I have learned that reading over my work and double checking everything is substantial to a good essay. I was never really taught to look at the “global” part of it. I was always told to just read over my work, double check it, and make sure that my thesis correlates with my essay. I now know the importance of making sure that my essay relates to the bigger picture. Sometimes just reading it over without editing it is going to help me write a better essay.

I love art. As I’ve grown, I have learned to love it even more. When I was younger, I disliked it a lot because I thought I was bad and thought that I couldn’t do it which was very discouraging for me. Art surrounds everyone and their everyday lives so as I got older, I started to appreciate it more. I began to take art classes in high school, which is when I discovered that I love it! At the beginning of my senior year art class, I painted on a canvas a picture of a woman’s face. I painted this because I thought that it has a very powerful meaning with the different colors I used and the way that the woman has no distinct race. The colors, for myself, represent that there are many different things that make up a person and how we decide things. We can all learn to love each other for who we are and that is what I was trying to show through my painting. Below, is the painting I did.

I believe that art can reveal a very powerful message, but that message can also mean different things for different people. For this painting, I know that people won’t look at it and interpret it the way that I do, but that’s what makes it art. There are many different forms, colors, emotions, and stories that go into a piece of work, and that can really show who someone is as an artist and person. I know that when I paint, I feel happy and content with myself, although I do get very aggravated if it does not turn out how I wanted it to. Art is by no means a waste of time. It helps me to calm down and put my thoughts and emotions on paper.

Relating to the upcoming paper, I do have a strong opinion that I plan on showing in my essay. As you can probably guess, it is going to be about how art can really change a person and the world. It can be a very difficult topic to persuade someone to believe, but I feel very strong and passionate about my stance on art. After taking notes and annotating the TED Talk video, I brainstormed some thoughts and ideas on how they relate. I did not think that I was going to get as many similarities as I did, and I was surprised. I know that with comparing these two, I am able to show both similarities and differences in the way that they portray art.

My choice of the TED Talk videos was the one with Benjamin Zander describing how music transforms us. I chose this video because I feel like I can relate to it the most. I danced from the ages 2 1/2- 17 and realized in those years, I found what I loved to do. When dancing, music connected with me in a way that let me express myself. Music is not an in one ear, out the other situation, rather it is processed through the ears, leading up to the brain and its nerves, synapses, dendrites, and receptors. It sends a chemical message to the heart and to the body that allows people to feel a sense of sanctuary. There are many ways for people to interpret and listen to music, but it doesn’t matter which way they do, they will be able to express themselves.

The TED Talk video discussed that there are no limits to music. Music can help the world and the people living in it. It is a way to speak more precisely than words. It is a form of art for people to connect with, communicate with, and react with. Much of what the world needs now, is to better themselves and help others around us, and that, is a form of art.

After reading about Effective Altruism I found that I made different connections. Effective Altruism is an organization that focuses on charity money to help people, animals, and most things alive with their well-being. When I first read Southan’s essay, I did notice that he does use many biased quotes to get his point across. Once I read more about Effective Altruism, I realized that they want to do more good than bad. They realize that our world is suffering and it needs help. Art is not as bad as Southan’s essay made it seem. EA actually believes that art influences us and our society. They don’t think that it will necessarily help the people suffering, but that it can provide information about what they are trying to fix. One quote that caught my eye and made me think was, “EA circles is that it doesn’t matter who does something – what matters is that it gets done.” This caught my attention because if art of some form was a way to help people’s suffering, I feel that EA would want to use it. As long as it helps, they would most likely use it.

Decoding helped me to better understand the article both the first and second time around. I never really used to annotate in high school, so doing some of it now is helping me to actively engage in my thoughts and assignments. With annotating and decoding, I will look up words that I do not know (through dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com) and think about the definition in the stance that I am reading. I looked up the word coalescing, which means to bring together or make something one. Using this form of decoding helped me to better engage in my reading. All in all, the second time around of reading Southan’s essay, I did have some things that I still believed in, but some that I was not so sure about.

After reading Rhys Southan’s paper, I did not agree with most of what was said. I don’t believe that is a waste of time or something that most people do not like. I think that it is a way for people to express themselves in ways that others can’t, which I wrote in the margin. Personally, I think that anybody can do art. That does not mean that they necessarily need to be “good” at it, but that they can doodle, draw, paint, and do whatever in a way that makes them feel a sense of sanctuary. Some of their thoughts and organizations I did believe in, however, but some of the ways that they approached them, I did not believe in. One sentence that caught my attention was talking about how the EA organization wants to reduce the suffering of people while improving the lifespan and happiness. I wrote in the margin that I completely agree with that. I agree with this because I think that it is very important to start helping the suffering people and make their lives a happier and more well-lived time period. We do not live long, so I think that happiness is the key to making a person’s life.

Blog Inspiration:

Much of what I know about blogging is unknown. When I was younger, I had to create a blog for one of my classes and I remember not knowing how to use it. It was frustrating because I wanted to be good at it and enjoy it like others did. Now being given another chance, I am very excited to redirect my thinking about blog posts. Blogging seems like a very fun way to express my thoughts while being relaxed and enjoying my time. Writing has not always been a strength of mine, so I’m hoping that this will help me to become the writer I have always wanted to be. I do believe that some things will be difficult to navigate on the blog page because I am not tech savvy. It is difficult for me to do things online, however, I can manage them pretty well. Although it may take me a little while to figure things out, I am super excited to start this new process and incorporate my learning into a blog page. I love being able to decorate and design a page about myself, for myself. It helps me express who I am and lets people in on some of my thoughts. I am very excited to start this new journey! I really enjoy looking at Jamie’s  jlee47.uneportfolio.org page because I love that she set it up. It looks very professional and pretty.

My blog page is: https://dperreault1.uneportfolio.org

Hello, my name is Deidra Perreault and I am a dental hygiene student at the University of New England.